i wanted to show you who i was.
i was happy, angry, and laughing, but mostly sad - all at the same time. thoughts ran through my mind and cascaded down waterfalls to be lost in the murky depths below. but the water had to clear eventually, i hoped.
i tried to write a story to show you just how lost i was, how empty and lonely i felt.. but the paragraphs eluded me and run-on sentences and the dialogue of fictional characters gave way to lies. nothing was real. and i couldn’t even tell myself the truth, so how could you understand what i meant to say?
my hand couldn’t write the words of my heart.
i tried to write a song. i wanted you to understand how each chord made me feel, how the melody lingered on my mind, playing games with my soul. but the staff confused me; the quarter notes were too plain and simple and wouldn’t speak to a stranger, no matter how hard i tried.
i wanted you to know me. to hear through my ears and see through my eyes.. eyes that filled with silent tears until they flowed over the edge and i poured myself into a poem..
for you.